1944 Mother's Passing
If somebody is very spiritual, then, when the time of his death comes, he will say to his relatives and dear ones, "Pray to God to take me away. I have finished my play here on earth. Read me spiritual books: the Scriptures, the Mahabharata, the Bhagavad-Gita. Let me hear only divine things, spiritual things, which will help me start out on my journey."
When my mother was dying, the members of the family read out to her from the Gita constantly during her last few days. My mother's attitude was: "Now I am going to the Eternal Father. Let me prepare myself."
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Sri Aurobindo had two or three secretaries. One of the secretaries was a former doctor. His name was Nirod Baran. He was a great poet, author and supreme authority on Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. One day he said to Sri Aurobindo, "Hriday's mother has been suffering for such a long time. Can you not cure her?"
Sri Aurobindo said to him, "What can I do? Her time has come. It is God's Will for her children to come here."
My eldest sister, Arpita, was at that time a permanent member of the Ashram. On that same day, while she was enjoying her siesta, she had a dream. In the dream she saw that my mother had passed away.
That day, at the very hour when Sri Aurobindo said, "Her time has come," my mother passed away in Chittagong.
***
On the day of my mother's passing, I was at my maternal uncle's house, five and a half miles away from our house. Early in the morning, my mother said, "This morning I am leaving the body. Where has Madal gone? Send for him." Then a cousin of mine came to give me the message. My cousin knocked at my uncle's door and said that my mother was dying. I had known that her case was serious, but now she was dying.
As soon as I got the message, I started running. Right from the start, tears were running down my cheeks because I was afraid I would not see my mother's last breath. Finally I reached our house and went into her room. My mother's life could be measured in minutes. She was unable to speak, but as soon as I was at her side, she took my right hand very gently. She could not lift my hand, but she held my hand and then she placed my hand in my eldest brother's hand. That meant she was telling my eldest brother to take responsibility for my life.
My eldest brother said, "Yes, I will take responsibility."
Then my mother gave me a smile, her last smile, and in a few seconds she passed away.
***
In our Hindu custom, you cannot keep a dead body for more than a day. In a few hours' time, the body has to be burnt. My mother died around two o'clock. A few hours later, at about six o'clock, my mother's body was taken to the family cremation ground and there it was burnt. All our relatives and dear ones were swimming in the sea of sorrow and grief.
I used to sleep with my mother until the age of six or seven. Then I stayed alone in my own room. The night after she passed away, it was pitch dark. We had no electricity; we didn't use a lamp or candles. My brother Mantu was in another room, and my sisters were upstairs. I was inside a mosquito net.
All of a sudden, the room was flooded with light, and I saw my mother. My mother's soul was all light. I did not know then what the soul was, but I saw clearly that my mother was blessing me and showing me utmost affection. She was telling me not to worry, saying that everything would be all right. From now on she would help me and bless me in a different way.
